Group4Task3

Onur, Hayri, Kaan, Tolga
=== TASK 3: You are working for a website called 'Dear Abby' on which people write about their problems and ask for advice. Read the posting and try to help the person by offering advice on how to solve his/her problem.===

DEAR ABBY: Ever since my father died 15 years ago, my mother has pursued her children's friends and made them her own. Example: I live in another state and have had a best friend, "Anne," for 20 years. Mom has gotten to know Anne quite well over the years, through me. She now calls Anne long distance, invites her to come and stay with her (without me), and considers the two of them best friends. Last week when I talked to Anne, I learned that Mother will be joining us on a girls' trip I had planned with my closest friends. Mother has done this with my siblings' friends, too -- taking them on trips with her or inviting them to visit. Since Dad's death, she has severed most of their old friendships. Now, aside from our friends, her only friends are her secretary and some of her employees. == I'm having a hard time with this because I can no longer be open about my mother to Anne. Mom's relationship with Anne has changed my relationship with my friend, and I resent it. Is this normal? -- COMPETING WITH MOM ==

i find it normal,logical you don't have to resent her ... you should be more understanding towards your mother,because as you say she lives alone and you are living far from her.Therefore, she wants to have housemate not to fee l lonely or to share something with somebody in the sam e house and your best friend is a good alternative for her, because she has known her for a longtime Secretly hoping that she have tried to find a friend and you should be more relaxing for your mother. And olsa you can try to understand your mother because she had lived some adversity and you said that you are living a different city than your mother and you said her behavior to your closest friends changed after your dad. Do you try to talk to your mom at least twice a week because I think you might ignore your mother or you might not look into your mother as it should be.you had better have a closer relationship with your mother, so you often call her,take care of her and you should reflect your love towards your mother if you don't want her to feel lonely.perhaps she thinks that she can be in connection with you through your close friends,so she may want to stay with your friend as kind of hope.Maybe your mother still feels lonely because of you, she may feel that she must attach herself your friends so that she can have a connection with you over your friends. You said that she also does not inform you when she met with your closest friends, that must be because she still have problems with you and she might escape talking with you about her problems. I think the situation is normal but your mom has definitely communication problems with you. You should talk to your mom about everything, about yourself, your dad, his lack of existence onto your and your mother's life, and your feelings about your mother's exaggerated behaviors onto your friends. If you do not want to talk these delicate issues, then you can get help from a psychologist. I wish my advices can be helpful to you.also she can be afreaid of your negative reactions or oppositions after you hear about her offer to your friend.on the other hand,first you should know,your mother wants you to be happy.therefore,you can not do disrespectful to your mother because your mother thinks:you may be very happy with your friends.ıf you don't spend time with your friends,you want to be alone,you can talk with your mother about this issue and you should make a deal with your mother.as a consequence,your mother and you can be happy thanks to deal.;)